Guru JCF - The Interview - On Globalization
Micky - "Guru, you wrote recently a book called - Globalization: a Global Perspective -. Why globalization?"
Guru JCF - "Because nobody knows shit about it."
Micky - "So, it is a scientific approach?"
Guru JCF - "It is an economic approach. Economists know shit about science"
Micky - "But, do you have your own view on the issue?"
Guru JCF - "Of course"
Micky - "And that is..."
Guru JCF - "A global perspective."
Micky - "But are you in favour or against it?"
Guru JCF - " It depends."
Micky - " On what?"
Guru JCF - " On, who is asking."
Micky - "Bill Gates once said that globalization forces companies to do things in new ways..."
Guru JCF - “Yeah, I know. Bill was always against globalization.”
Micky - " So, globalization is not a good thing for rich people?”
Guru JCF - “Ask that to two-thirds of the people of the world."
Micky - " Do you think that democracy is the foundation of globalization?"
Guru JCF - " Definitely. Just look at China."
Micky - So, globalization reflects other values than simple freedom of capital?"
Guru JCF - Exactly. It reflects only the values of capital. Nothing to do with freedom and shits like that."
Micky - "What about economic sustained growth?"
Guru JCF - That's a political issue..."
Micky - Do you mean that politicians control economic growth?"
Guru JCF - Are you crazy? They control numbers, statistics, that sort of things."
Micky - "I see, politicians, occasionally, lie to the people?
Guru JCF - "Never. They do it in a sustained manner."
Micky - "Guru, you are, truly, a pessimist."
Guru JCF - No, I am not. In fact, I am very optimistic."
Micky - "Are you?"
Guru JCF - "Yes, money will flow in a sustained growth manner"
Micky - "That is good news for the world."
Guru JCF - Don't say!!! Man, I was talking about my book' sales
16/07/2006
GURU JCF - The Interview - ON TUBOLOGY
Micky: - "Guru, could we say that Tubology is a kind of a religion?"
Guru JCF - "You could say whatever you want. You are in a free territory."
whispered note: remember that Micky arrived to the interview location blindfolded, like Al Pacino…
Micky: - "Ok, so Tubology is a cheap copy of Scientology?"
Guru JCF - "Never heard about Ron Hubbard"
Micky: - "Guru, L. Ron Hubbard was the founder of Scientology"
Guru JCF - "Don’t say!!! Man, that son of a bitch did that?"
Micky: - "Yes. And he was a very rich man, didn't you know?"
Guru JCF - "Don’t say!!! Man, that son of a bitch is rich?"
Micky: - "No, he died back in 86. He was taking a psych drug at that time, although his church was against it”
Guru JCF - " RIP to his soul "
Micky: - " Requiescat Iin Pace ?"
Guru JCF - " No . Remove It Permanently. "
Micky: - "So Tubology is another church created with the sole purpose of making money? "
Guru JCF - “Never . Tubology is the religion of the Prophet ”
Micky: - " Oh yeah, we heard that: The words of the Prophet are written on the subway walls, right?”
Guru JCF - “You got it! "
Micky: - “Guru , those words belong to the lyrics of a song from Simon & Garfunkel "
Guru JCF - “You got it! "
Micky: - “So?"
Guru JCF - “Who do you think was Simon & Garfunkel’s mentor, back in the sixties? ”
Micky: - “Could you please explain to us what is the concept behind Tubology?"
Guru JCF - “Can’t do that. No way. "
Micky: - “Why not?"
Guru JCF - “Because religion is faith. You cannot see it "
Micky: - “Like the Underground, you mean?"
Guru JCF - “Yes . Right! You can do it, son. Keep trying! "
Micky: - “So, if it is an underground movement, it can be compared to the subway?"
Guru JCF - “Or the Metro, you see?”
Micky: - “Yes Guru, I can see, I can see!”
Guru JCF - “Alleluia , Alleluia! The Lord is praised! We have a new converted! Alleluia”
Guru JCF - " Micky my son: the normal entrance fee to Tubology is 10.000 dollars, but exceptionally, you only have to pay 9.999, ok? Sorry but we do not accept checks or credit cards. Only cash. And each month, please do not forget to pay the Tithe. Just 10% of your revenue for the Lord, you know. Do not worry; you will be saved my child.”
Off Voice: We will take a short break on this fascinating interview with our tonight guest, Guru JCF, for our commercials.
And remember: this program is brought to you by the new China flavour – cocaine free, no sugar. no caffeine, plain coloured dirty water - Tota Tola. Don’t go away. We’ll be right back!
13/06/2006
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Mao (Micky) Hu Jingtonic is 59 Minutes main correspondent somewhere around the world, where this interview took place – Micky arrived blindfolded, at Guru JCF’s request -.
Pateira proudly presents, on a world exclusive, excerpts of this legendary interview:
Micky: - "You are the last major guru in the world, am I wrong?"
Guru JCF - "Of course. This is a big mistake,"
Micky - "You are,"
Guru JCF - "Very frankly speaking, I don’t agree with your point I’m a guru,"
Micky - "I know you don't. I know that you don't. But there’s an old American phrase that if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck and so forth, it's a duck."
Guru JCF – "And you are a cheap chinese imitator of Mike Wallace. Why don't take a walk and eat some Beijing duck?"
